It makes it better, you’ll see.” It was impossible to see how he could be right, but all I could do was try to persuade him through other means. “No…” He moved from kissing my mouth to my neck. “Can we just have sex first?” I asked, a bit breathless from his advance and finding an irresistible urge inside me to get a quick fix in. I wanted to lay on the counter and feel his weight on top of me right then, but I knew that wasn’t his plan for the night. I took a step back and hopped up on the counter, he stood between my legs and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him tightly, making the kiss more urgent than casual. Even when we just talked he stood closer to me than a person normally would. He poured us some wine inside the house and I drank nervously - he always made me nervous, it was part of his charm. It turned me on as well - and I couldn’t tell if it was his pleasure at the situation or my own curiosity about someone with a few decades of experience on me. I laughed, it was funny to him that I was a student, that I was so much younger than him. Seated on the porch with his back against one of the cedar posts, reading something, or pretending to read at least while he waited for me. When I parked I saw he was waiting for me. I grabbed a water bottle and sipped drank it on the short drive to the lake house. One afternoon I was packing an overnight bag to meet Steve at his lake house when he texted me: Like how learning your second foreign language is a lot easier than learning your first. I knew that not every man was going to like what Steve liked, but I figured it would be easiest to adjust from guy to guy when I at least knew one really well.
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When something is good for you, you just have to learn how to love it.Īll this to say, he wanted to give me blow job lessons, and I was ready to be a very good student. Why be a bear at all if you’re not going to be a grizzly? When I was younger I denied myself cream and sugar for a long time, until I learned to love the taste of coffee without it, and now I’ll never need cream or sugar. I don’t like the middle of the road, if I was going to do something at all, I wanted to do all of it - be the best at it, or at least take it to it’s farthest end and experience it fully. I wanted a kind of explosive partnership that was much more intentional about mutually being the best for your partner than passively hoping for their infallibility. It seemed like a source of endless friction. I didn’t want to hate doing something the guy I was with loved. I was interested in approaching the whole thing a bit differently. The idea intrigued me greatly, most of my friends hated giving head - or at least hated doing it for more than a few minutes. He said this to me before we really started anything serious, we were in his bed after sex just talking, and he was going on about the value of good oral. If you know how to do it right a guy will remember you for the rest of his life.” “For most guys truly good head is a once in a lifetime thing. He loved oral, both giving and receiving, and he wanted to make sure I knew how to enjoy both. Of all the memories I have of being 19 and having an affair with my best friend’s dad, the one that I think about most often is the first blow job lesson he gave me.